Mission Impossible: Macon Four-Peats

Sigh...I'm beginning to sound like a broken record: the more things change, the more they stay the same.

After a dominant, 50+ point victory in the Super Bowl, Big B and the Macon Love once again find themselves in the Winner's Circle. In case you've been under a rock, I should point out the fact that this is B's fourth consecutive championship.

Last year I stated that I didn't think anyone would ever three-peat. This year I'll go a step further and say that four-peating seems about ten times more improbable than three-peating. There's really nothing else to say. It's truly unbelievable...and depressing to the rest of us.

Please send me checks to cover your tabs below. Happy New Year, dudes.

Big B - $639 Super Bowl + $200 2nd place finish + $20 weekly highs + $10 Top RB - $81 Pickups = Won $788
Swanny - $345 1st place finish + $20 weekly highs - $25 Pickups = Won $340
Jason - $100 3rd place finish + $20 weekly highs + $10 Top QB - $31 Pickups = Won $99
Saber - $10 weekly high - $18 Pickups = Owes $8
CCD - $20 weekly highs - $28 Pickups = Owes $8
Fryxell - $10 weekly high - $24 Pickups = Owes $14
Willey - $10 Top K - $39 Pickups = Owes $29
Kav - $10 weekly high - $50 Pickups = Owes $40
Boogie - $10 weekly high + $10 top WR - $74 pickups = Owes $54
TP - $10 weekly high + $10 top TE - $94 pickups = Owes $74

My address is:

433 S. 7th St. - Unit #2128
Minneapolis, MN 55415

Straight Cash, Homey

FYI...there were $464 worth of pick-ups this year! That means the Super Bowl pot is $639 ($175 + $464).

For everyone other than B and Kav, your tabs are listed below. (B and Kav, your totals below are up-to-date going into the Super Bowl.) Everyone who owes money, please send me your checks ASAP!

Swanny - $345 1st place finish + $20 weekly highs - $25 Pickups = Won $340

Big B - $200 2nd place finish + $20 weekly highs + $10 Top RB - $81 Pickups = Won $149 + Any Super Bowl Winnings

Jason - $100 3rd place finish + $20 weekly highs + $10 Top QB - $31 Pickups = Won $99

Saber - $10 weekly high - $18 Pickups = Owes $8

CCD - $20 weekly highs - $28 Pickups = Owes $8

Fryxell - $10 weekly high - $24 Pickups = Owes $14

Willey - $10 Top K - $39 Pickups = Owes $29

Kav - $10 weekly high - $50 Pickups = Won Any Super Bowl Winnings - $40

Boogie - $10 weekly high + $10 top WR - $74 pickups = Owes $54

TP - $10 weekly high + $10 top TE - $94 pickups = Owes $74

My address is:
433 S. 7th St. - Unit #2128
Minneapolis, MN 55415

And Then There Were Two...

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Once again, the FFFL Championship will be won by either Kav or Big B. While their teams struggled at times during the season, they have peaked at the right time. And both owners deserve a lot of credit for selecting, trading for, and picking up the players that they did throughout the year.

If Big B wins again, he will four-peat - and we may have to just shut the League down.

If Kav wins, he will once again get to add his name to an FFFL Winner's Jacket.

May the best team win!

Final Four

Good luck to the remaining four squads battling for the FFFL Championship.

On one side of the bracket, Moorhead will be taking on Kona. Swanny is attempting to make his first Super Bowl ever, while Kav is trying to pull off the upset by knocking out the #1 seed. Given the fact that Vernon Davis put up a goose egg for Swanny last night, the Sea Urchins have some momentum heading into Sunday.

On the other side, Macon and Dewey will be squaring off. Big B and TP will finally have a chance to put to rest who is the more accomplished Nicollet Junior High alumnus. Rivers put up 25 points yesterday, so the Decimals will need an equally strong performance from P-Man this weekend.

May the best teams win.

Pick Ups for Championship Week

Kav gets Lance Moore for $4 and drops Lee Evans

Dewey gets Kenny Britt $5 drops Donald Driver

Macon gets Owen Daniels $3 drops Pettigrew
Macon gets Hightower drops ????

Good Luck to everyone! May the best Man Win!!!!

This Weeks Pick ups and Position winners

First off the only team that needs pick ups is Dewey...With no real starting RB Dewey gets:

Johathan Steward $4 and drops Dez Bryant

Donald Driver drops Vincent Jackson $2

Position Winner

QB Aaron Rodgers (GMB)
RB A. Foster (MACON)
WR. D Bowe (EWF)
TE. A. Gates (DEWEY)
K D. Akers (CCC)

Playoffs?!?! Yep, Playoffs!!!

After a brutal start to his season, Swanny somehow won six straight and found himself on the top of the heap. If he doesn't accomplish anything in the rest of his life, he'll always be able to say that he was a FFFL Regular Season champion. He also secured the #1 seed heading into the playoffs.

Also defying his early-season problems, Big B pulled another rabbit out of his hat and won his division. What once seemed impossible is now surprisingly plausible: the Macon Love are only two victories away from a fourth consecutive championship.

The division winners are seeds #1 (Swanny) and #2 (Big B). Based on total points (since they had the same record), Jason got the #3 seed and Kav is #4.

The final two remaining spots were based on the next highest total points (regardless of record). Willey had 1171 points, so he is the #5 seed. TP had 1122 points, so he is the #6 seed. (For the record, I hate Wes Welker.)

So on one side of the bracket it will be #4 (Kav) vs. #5 (Willey), with the winner playing the #1 seed (Swanny).

The other side of the bracket will be #3 (Jason) vs. #6 (TP), with the winner playing the #2 seed(Big B).

May the best team win (as long as it's not Macon again)! My money is on Jason. Not because I think his team is peaking at the right moment, but because he has season tickets for Gophers basketball and I'm trying to suck up to him.

Week 13 Preview

This is the final week of the regular season. In case any of you have been living under a rock, there's a lot that could happen in terms of who wins the regular season championship and who makes the playoffs. To illustrate this point, consider the following:

- If TP wins, he will win his division and possibly win the regular season championship
- If TP loses, there is a good chance that he won't even make the playoffs

Think about that. It's absolutely nuts.

Swanny is the only person who really controls his own destiny. If his squad wins this week, he will have finished on a six game winning streak and he'll win the regular season championship. Everyone else is in part at the mercy of how the other teams perform.

Here are the matchups:

Macon vs. Dewey
How will TP's team perform in the biggest game of his fantasy football career? Will Big B somehow work his magic again and secure another championship?

Moorhead vs. Earth
Can J Boogie prevent Swanny from winning the championship? Will AP be able to play?

Graball vs. Crotch Crescent
Jason and Willey are #1 and #3 respectively in total points. Both seem to be locks for the playoffs.

Kona vs. Brooklyn
Will Kav lock up the second seed in the Pirates division (if Boogie loses) and/or score enough points to vault into the playoffs? Will Saber be able to play the role of spoiler?

Crotch Lake vs. Cripple Creek
Could either team score 200 points and make the playoffs based on total points.

It's been a wild season, and it looks like it'll be an even wilder finale. May the best teams win.

P.S. Does anyone else want to be Commissioner next year?

This Week Pick Ups

EWF gets Gerhart $10 and drops Beanie Wells

Dewey gets Westbrook for $5 and Drops F. Gore

Since EWF also bet $5 on Westbrook and entered his bid just 27 minutes after mine...To avoid being called a liar and cheat I took a picture of my email acct. To show that I had the bid in first! (They are highlighted in yellow)

TP

Pick Ups for the week!

The only pick up goes to Dewey.

Pick up Mike Goodson drop Shanon Greene $6 (sent Nov. 23)


TP

Week 11 Recap & Rankings

I've been at work since 7:00am, so this is going to be short:

Week 11 Results
Graball 148 - Brooklyn 78
Macon 108- Earth 71
Kona 107 - Crotch Lake 101
Dewey 95 - Crotch Crescent 94
Moorhead 89 - Cripple Creek 86

Rather than break down every game, I just want to focus all of the attention on Graball's performance. While I'm not positive, I'm inclined to think that 148 is the highest one-week point total in FFFL history. That is just amazing. I MEAN...Jason's squad scored 70 more points than Saber's squad. And Saber's squad would have beat mine. That's just outrageous.

Here are my new rankings:

1. Dewey Decimals
2. Macon Love
3. Moorhead Please
4. Graball My Balls
5. Kona Sea Urchins
6. Crotch Crescent Chupacabra
7. Earth Wind and Fire
8. Crotch Lake Crumbs
9. Cripple Creek CCDs
10. Brooklyn Bombers

Happy Thanksgiving!

Scores Updated!

Since our League is pretty much insanity this year...I've updated all the scores so everything should be up to date going into the final two weeks...Jason if you lose this week...I'll make sure to make all the paperwork for next year to go smoothly!!! Don't Tempt the Co-Commissioner!!!

TP

This Week's Pick Ups

Dewey get
Wes Welker for $5 and drops Earl Bennet
adds Robbie Gould drops Bryant $2

Get ready to rumbel...I am predicting that since Big B abandoned Welker...He will be the force that sends
Dewey to the Championship and the playoffs in the final week of the season...Big B paid $27 for Welker...Big
B where is the loyalty!

Week 10 Recap

OK, this is getting downright ridiculous. Each week I say that things could not possibly get any tighter…and then that’s exactly what happens the following week.

In week 10, the teams with the two best records (TP & J Boogie) lost. (Note: since my squad had the 3rd most points of anyone this week, I think I’m going to propose next year that we do away with head-to-head match-ups altogether.)

Also, guess who won again this past week? The Macon Love, that’s who. I’m still not sure how it happened, but suddenly Big B’s boys have the most points in the entire league and are a ½ game out of first place. Say what?!?! This can’t possibly be happening again, can it?!?!

There are now only 3 weeks remaining. If the playoffs ended today, here is who would make it:

- TP
- Big B
- Swanny
- J Boogie
- Jason
- Willey

That means 4 out of the 6 playoff teams would be from the Ninjas division!

Here are the official results from Week 10:

Kona 127 – Cripple Creek 99
Mike Vick had 52 points! No, that is not a typo.

Crotch Lake 117 – Earth 109
This one was over on Thursday night.

Macon 107 – Graball 77
David Garrard’s last completion should remind us all that Big B may still have a lucky horseshoe nearby.

Crotch Crescent 97 – Brooklyn 80
Saber got a combined 4 points from his 3 WRs. No, that is not a typo.

Moorhead 80 – Dewey 68
What happened to TP’s squad? How are they still in 1st place overall?

And here are the match-ups for Week 11

Earth @ Macon
Moorhead @ Cripple Creek
Crotch Crescent @ Dewey
Brooklyn @ Graball
Crotch Lake @ Kona

Hold on to your seats, gentlemen! This is going to be one wild ride.

Pick Ups This Week!

J. Schmidt gets
R. Bironas $2 and drop Crosby (Email Sent at Nov. 9 @9:52 am)
D. Branch $2 and drop Britt.

CCC gets
$3 on J.Freeman, QB, TB
Drop M.Stafford, QB, Det

J. Boogie gets
Add Sidney Rice ($5) and drop Mike Tolbert.

TP gets
Pick Up Mercedes Lewis drop McMichael $3
Vincet Jackson for $2 drops James Jones


Just wanted to let you know how Kav picks up players

Kona would like to pick up Rob big sack Bironous (TEN) for $2 and would drop Steven huge vagina Gotshitsuckvaginaballs (NE)

Week 9 Recap

Just when I think that things couldn’t possibly get any tighter, that’s precisely what happens.

Teams ranked #2 - #10 are now all separated by ONE victory. Think about that. ONE victory. The team with the second most victories has 5. The team with the fewest has 4. That is nothing short of astounding!

For this week’s newsletter, I’m going to revert back to our Glory Days with the always-popular Players of the Week/Weak feature. Enjoy.

Players of the Week

QB – Philip Rivers (30 points)
Upon hearing that B was shopping him as trade bait, Rivers responded with a powerhouse performance and a quote from Ivan Drago: “I win for me. FOR ME!”

RB – Peyton Hillis (33 points)
Who is this guy, you ask? The answer is straightforward: Saber’s best player.

RB – Arian Foster (31 points)
In related news, B left me the following voicemail on Sunday night: “Boogie, do you think Arian would be a good name for a baby girl?”

WR – Terrell Owens (26 points)
Boogie had a comfortable 26-point lead over CCD going into Monday night, which explains why all day Tuesday Boogie refuse to include the letters “T” and “O” in any of his communications.

WR – Seyi Ajirotutu (23 points)
Who?!?! If ‘tutu puts up 23 points again, I’ll wear a tutu to my wedding.

WR – James Jones (18 points)
This guy epitomizes TP’s squad this year. Because at the end of the day, nobody really thinks he’s going to keep putting up these type of numbers, do they?

TE – Jacob Tamme (16 points)
If someone asked me if “Jacob Tamme” was an NFL player or a coworker of mine who I hadn’t met yet, I’d probably guess the latter.

K – Sebastian Janikowski (11 points)
Did anyone else miss the fact that David Wells changed his name and is now a placekicker for the Raiders?

Players of the Weak

QB – Matt Schaub (13 points)
Did anyone else miss the fact that Mark Warder changed his name and is now a quarterback for the Texans?

RB – Ricky Williams (0 points)
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show Ricky Williams what it was like to gain 10 yards.

RB – BenJarvus Green-Ellis (1 point)
If I was confused as to whether my first name was actually Ben or Jarvus, I’d probably be a bit distracted, too.

WR – Austin Collie (1 point)
Somewhere, Wayne Chrebet and Tom Waddle are shaking their heads in disappointment.

WR – Darrius Heyward-Bey (1 point)
Did anyone else miss the fact that Craig “Ironhead” Heyward changed his first name and is now a wide receiver for the Raiders?

WR – Miles Austin (1 point)
Knock knock. Who’s there? Miles Austin. Miles Austin who? Good point.

TE – Todd Heap (2 points)
Heap certainly played like a heap all right. A heap of you know what.

K – Stephen Gostkowski (1 point)
Kav has always had a thing for girls with nice legs; apparently he also has a thing for guys with bad legs.