Oops, he did it again.
Even though Sidney Rice has yet to play, the 2009 FFFL Champion has already been decided. For the third consecutive year, Big B and the Macon Love are sitting on top of the fantasy football mountain. As much as it pains me to admit, the act of winning three consecutive championships is truly amazing - and we here at the Commissioner's office have no choice but to take our hats off to Big B. It's highly unlikely that anyone will ever 3-peat again. Unless they're really, really LUCKY!
From an investment perspective, Big B looks like he's Warren Buffett. He spent $150 on his entry fee and pickups, and he's walking away with almost $900. That's nearly a 600% return on his investment.
For CCD, today must me a very bittersweet day. Sweet because he finished in 2nd and earned $181, but bitter because he could have earned $723.
Look for a "Season in Review" video from TP sometime in the next few months.
Also, the final winings are listed below. Please send me your checks ASAP!
Big B - $50 pickups + $345 1st place finish + $20 weekly high + $10 C. Johnson + $542 Championship = Won $867
CCD - $29 pickups + $200 2nd place finish + $10 weekly high = Won $181
Boogie - $65 pickups + $100 3rd place finish + $10 weekly high = Won $45
B Jones - $10 pickups + $25 weekly high + $10 A. Rodgers = Won $25
Swanny - $14 pickups + $15 weekly high + $10 N. Kaeding = Won $11
TP - $41 pickups + $20 weekly high + $10 V. Davis = Owes $11
Kav - $41 pickups + $10 weekly high + $10 R. Wayne = Owes $21
Fryxell - $45 pickups + $20 weekly high = Owes $25
Saber - $34 pickups = Owes $34
Willey - $63 pickups = Owes $63
My address is:
433 S. 7th St. - Unit #2128
Minneapolis, MN 55415
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
One Pick up this week
Big B makes a Bid $3.00 for James Harrison RB (CLE) and Cut Qb Jason Campbell...
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
And Then There Were Two...
$542! That's a lot of cash.
After CCD and Big B do battle this weekend, one of them will be walking away with nearly a grand, and the other will be walking away with only their regular season earnings.
I think this picture sums up the situation quite well.
May the best team win!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Time to Pay Up
Wow. This season we all spent a whopping $392 on pick-ups. This means that whoever wins the Super Bowl this weekend will get an extra $542 to go along with their regular season winnings.
Unless your team is still alive, please send me checks for the following amounts:
Willey - $63 pickups = Owes $63
My address is:
433 S. 7th St. - Unit #2128
Minneapolis, MN 55415
Send your checks in ASAP!
Unless your team is still alive, please send me checks for the following amounts:
Big B - $50 pickups + $345 1st place finish + $20 weekly high + $10 C. Johnson = Won $325 (will be $867 if he wins this week!!!)
CCD - $29 pickups + $200 2nd place finish + $10 weekly high = Won $181 (will be $723 if he wins this week!!!)
Boogie - $65 pickups + $100 3rd place finish + $10 weekly high = Won $45
B Jones - $10 pickups + $25 weekly high + $10 A. Rodgers = Won $25
Swanny - $14 pickups + $15 weekly high + $10 N. Kaeding = Won $11
TP - $41 pickups + $20 weekly high + $10 V. Davis = Owes $11
Kav - $41 pickups + $10 weekly high + $10 R. Wayne = Owes $21
Fryxell - $45 pickups + $20 weekly high = Owes $25
Saber - $34 pickups = Owes $34Willey - $63 pickups = Owes $63
My address is:
433 S. 7th St. - Unit #2128
Minneapolis, MN 55415
Send your checks in ASAP!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
And Then There Were Four...
If I sound bitter...it's probably because I am.
The first round of the playoffs illustrated precisely why I'm starting to think that fantasy football should never include match-ups. Since it's a "sport" where we can't impact our opponent's performance (i.e., we can't play defense), why should we be impacted based on our opponent's performance?
This week, the four teams that were playing put up the following point totals: 131, 108, 71, and 59. Now tell me which of those two teams should be moving on? (Here's a hint: they both scored over 100 points!)
And yet because of the head-to-head match-ups, Willey is moving on while my season is over -- even though my squad put up 37 MORE POINTS THAN HIS! Sigh...
While I'm uber-frustrated, I am also quite happy for Willey. He had an amazing second-half of the season, and he's taken advantage of some weaker divisional match-ups to put himself in the Divisional Championship game.
Swanny also deserves a lot of credit for putting up a monster week. Brandon Marshall and Dallas Clark had their best games of the year, and Matt Schaub and Thomas Jones also contributed to the cause by putting up 20+ points. Those four dudes combined for 101 points!
This week's two games should be quite entertaining. If Willey is going to have any chance of knocking off Big B, his team is likely going to have to put up a lot more than 71 points - as the Love have been rolling of late. (During their "bye week," Macon still put up an eye-popping performance.)
In the other game, Swanny and CCD will be facing off. While CCD has a much better record and ranking, Swanny's squad is actually projected to score 20+ points more than CCD's team. Although we should all know by now that those projections are ridiculous.
May the best teams win! (And by "best," I mean the teams who score the most points.)
P.S. You should all expect a proposal from me next year to run the playoffs as follows:
- 4 teams play in the first round; the teams with the two highest point totals advance
- 4 teams play in the second round; the teams with the two highest point totals advance
- 2 teams play in the Super Bowl; the team with the highest point total wins
No more divisions or match-ups!
The first round of the playoffs illustrated precisely why I'm starting to think that fantasy football should never include match-ups. Since it's a "sport" where we can't impact our opponent's performance (i.e., we can't play defense), why should we be impacted based on our opponent's performance?
This week, the four teams that were playing put up the following point totals: 131, 108, 71, and 59. Now tell me which of those two teams should be moving on? (Here's a hint: they both scored over 100 points!)
And yet because of the head-to-head match-ups, Willey is moving on while my season is over -- even though my squad put up 37 MORE POINTS THAN HIS! Sigh...
While I'm uber-frustrated, I am also quite happy for Willey. He had an amazing second-half of the season, and he's taken advantage of some weaker divisional match-ups to put himself in the Divisional Championship game.
Swanny also deserves a lot of credit for putting up a monster week. Brandon Marshall and Dallas Clark had their best games of the year, and Matt Schaub and Thomas Jones also contributed to the cause by putting up 20+ points. Those four dudes combined for 101 points!
This week's two games should be quite entertaining. If Willey is going to have any chance of knocking off Big B, his team is likely going to have to put up a lot more than 71 points - as the Love have been rolling of late. (During their "bye week," Macon still put up an eye-popping performance.)
In the other game, Swanny and CCD will be facing off. While CCD has a much better record and ranking, Swanny's squad is actually projected to score 20+ points more than CCD's team. Although we should all know by now that those projections are ridiculous.
May the best teams win! (And by "best," I mean the teams who score the most points.)
P.S. You should all expect a proposal from me next year to run the playoffs as follows:
- 4 teams play in the first round; the teams with the two highest point totals advance
- 4 teams play in the second round; the teams with the two highest point totals advance
- 2 teams play in the Super Bowl; the team with the highest point total wins
No more divisions or match-ups!
Monday Night Party
This Monday Night (Dec. 21st), please join your fellow owners for a night of fellowship and frolicking at Joe Senser's in Bloomington. This should be a great way to kick-off the Holiday season. While Santa Claus will not be there, Big B will be allowing owners to sit on his lap for $1. Also, Co-Commissioner TP will be flying in from DC for this historic event.
The address is 4217 American Blvd. West, 55437.
P.S. The newsletter will be coming out shortly.
The address is 4217 American Blvd. West, 55437.
P.S. The newsletter will be coming out shortly.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Fantasty Football Firings...Be warned!
Investment company to fantasy owners: 'You're fired'
If you happen to be reading this sentence while sitting in your cubicle at Fidelity Investments, then you'd better stop. Immediately. We cannot guarantee your safety. You're only one click away from creating a fantasy league, and that would be a serious violation of company policy. In fact, it's a fireable offense.
According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Fidelity recently axed four league commissioners in the Fantasy Purge of '09.
Cameron Pettigrew, who worked as a "relationship manager in a private client group" (which sounds a lot like the job description of a fantasy commish), was among those terminated:
"Firing a guy for being in a $20 fantasy league? Let’s be honest, that’s a complete overreaction," said Pettigrew, who lives in Grapevine and has an MBA from the University of Texas at Arlington. "In this economic time, especially. To fire people over something like this, it’s just cold."
That does seem cold. But multi-billion-dollar financial services corporations are not generally known for their warmth. Apparently there are anti-gambling rules in place at Fidelity. (Midcap funds, heck yeah! Football leagues, no).
Said Fidelity spokesman Vin Loporchio: "We have clear policies that relate to gambling. Participation in any form of gambling through the use of Fidelity time or equipment or any other company resource is prohibited. … We want our employees to be focused on our customers and clients."
They react to allegations of fantasy involvement swiftly, it seems.
[Pettigrew] said he never sent any fantasy football emails at work or using his work email address. But the investigators found two instant messages that had fantasy football-related material.
"One of my buddies sent me something about how bad Trent Edwards(notes) was playing or something like that," Pettigrew said. "So they called me in and talked to me for about 90 minutes on everything I ever knew about fantasy football."
Honestly, you can't fault his buddy's analytical talent. Edwards really was a disaster. If this blog contributed in any way to misplaced enthusiasm for any Buffalo Bills – which in turn led to ill-advised IMs, which resulted in firings – please accept our sincere apologies.
We would also like to point out – in our professional capacity as fantasy gurus, not as legal advisors – that laws have been passed which define the terms "bet" and "wager," and fantasy participation has been excluded. Here's a link to a million-word legal definition. Whatever else he did, Pettigrew wasn't gambling. Back off, company spokesman.
If Pettigrew actually owned Trent Edwards, then he's suffered enough. Someone please hire the man.http://sports.yahoo.com/fantasy/blog/roto_arcade/post/Investment-company-to-fantasy-owners-You-re-fi?urn=fantasy,208825
If you happen to be reading this sentence while sitting in your cubicle at Fidelity Investments, then you'd better stop. Immediately. We cannot guarantee your safety. You're only one click away from creating a fantasy league, and that would be a serious violation of company policy. In fact, it's a fireable offense.
According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Fidelity recently axed four league commissioners in the Fantasy Purge of '09.
Cameron Pettigrew, who worked as a "relationship manager in a private client group" (which sounds a lot like the job description of a fantasy commish), was among those terminated:
"Firing a guy for being in a $20 fantasy league? Let’s be honest, that’s a complete overreaction," said Pettigrew, who lives in Grapevine and has an MBA from the University of Texas at Arlington. "In this economic time, especially. To fire people over something like this, it’s just cold."
That does seem cold. But multi-billion-dollar financial services corporations are not generally known for their warmth. Apparently there are anti-gambling rules in place at Fidelity. (Midcap funds, heck yeah! Football leagues, no).
Said Fidelity spokesman Vin Loporchio: "We have clear policies that relate to gambling. Participation in any form of gambling through the use of Fidelity time or equipment or any other company resource is prohibited. … We want our employees to be focused on our customers and clients."
They react to allegations of fantasy involvement swiftly, it seems.
[Pettigrew] said he never sent any fantasy football emails at work or using his work email address. But the investigators found two instant messages that had fantasy football-related material.
"One of my buddies sent me something about how bad Trent Edwards(notes) was playing or something like that," Pettigrew said. "So they called me in and talked to me for about 90 minutes on everything I ever knew about fantasy football."
Honestly, you can't fault his buddy's analytical talent. Edwards really was a disaster. If this blog contributed in any way to misplaced enthusiasm for any Buffalo Bills – which in turn led to ill-advised IMs, which resulted in firings – please accept our sincere apologies.
We would also like to point out – in our professional capacity as fantasy gurus, not as legal advisors – that laws have been passed which define the terms "bet" and "wager," and fantasy participation has been excluded. Here's a link to a million-word legal definition. Whatever else he did, Pettigrew wasn't gambling. Back off, company spokesman.
If Pettigrew actually owned Trent Edwards, then he's suffered enough. Someone please hire the man.http://sports.yahoo.com/fantasy/blog/roto_arcade/post/Investment-company-to-fantasy-owners-You-re-fi?urn=fantasy,208825
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Boogie's Final Regular Season Rankings
As we head into the playoffs, here were the final Regular Season rankings.
1. Macon Love (11 - 2)
Until someone else steps up, the Love are still the team to beat.
2. Cripple Creek CCDs (8 - 5)
Talk about LIMPING into a first-round bye and divison championship! CCD's squad has looked horrible the past two weeks.
3. Earth Wind and Fire (7 - 6)
After putting up 110 points in Week 13, Earth may be peaking at the right time.
4. Butte Rams (fka Moorehead Please) (6 - 7)
Which Matt Schaub is going to show up for the playoffs?
5. Needmore Action (6 - 7)
Hands down, Willey deserves the award for "Owner of the Year." After being left for the dead, he has cracked the Top 5 and has a legitimate chance of making a run in the playoffs.
6. Crotch Lake Crumbs (6 - 7)
An impressive late-season push allowed Fryx to leapfrog Saber into the playoffs.
7. Brooklyn Bombers (6 - 7)
At the midpoint of the season, it was impossible to imagine the Bombers not making the playoffs. The injury to Benson was a big blow, and the impossible happened.
8. Dewey Decimals (5 - 8)
Everyone who made the playoffs should be glad that the Decimals didn't. TP's squad has been on a terror of late, leading the league in points scored the last two weeks.
9. Savannah Whites (5 - 8)
A solid season, but Kav's squad fell just short. Oh well, he'll now have more time to focus on raiding Fryxell's magazine stash.
10. Pampalo Runners (5 - 8)
B Jones made major strides as an owner this year compared to last. If Gore had remained healthy, the Runners would have likely run deep into the playoffs.
1. Macon Love (11 - 2)
Until someone else steps up, the Love are still the team to beat.
2. Cripple Creek CCDs (8 - 5)
Talk about LIMPING into a first-round bye and divison championship! CCD's squad has looked horrible the past two weeks.
3. Earth Wind and Fire (7 - 6)
After putting up 110 points in Week 13, Earth may be peaking at the right time.
4. Butte Rams (fka Moorehead Please) (6 - 7)
Which Matt Schaub is going to show up for the playoffs?
5. Needmore Action (6 - 7)
Hands down, Willey deserves the award for "Owner of the Year." After being left for the dead, he has cracked the Top 5 and has a legitimate chance of making a run in the playoffs.
6. Crotch Lake Crumbs (6 - 7)
An impressive late-season push allowed Fryx to leapfrog Saber into the playoffs.
7. Brooklyn Bombers (6 - 7)
At the midpoint of the season, it was impossible to imagine the Bombers not making the playoffs. The injury to Benson was a big blow, and the impossible happened.
8. Dewey Decimals (5 - 8)
Everyone who made the playoffs should be glad that the Decimals didn't. TP's squad has been on a terror of late, leading the league in points scored the last two weeks.
9. Savannah Whites (5 - 8)
A solid season, but Kav's squad fell just short. Oh well, he'll now have more time to focus on raiding Fryxell's magazine stash.
10. Pampalo Runners (5 - 8)
B Jones made major strides as an owner this year compared to last. If Gore had remained healthy, the Runners would have likely run deep into the playoffs.
Pick ups for the playoffs!
Needmore bids
$3 pickup Todd Heap, TE
Drop Jerious Norwood, RB
$3 pickup Julius Jones, RB
Drop Justin Forsett, RB
$3 pickup Todd Heap, TE
Drop Jerious Norwood, RB
$3 pickup Julius Jones, RB
Drop Justin Forsett, RB
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Headlines for Week 13 (please submit your vote)
Top Headlines for week 13 (Vote for your favorite)
Saber and Bombers fall out of playoff and realize war is not the answer, neither is winning. Is this a bad philosphy?
Moorehead gets plenty of head…Is he too relaxed heading into the playoffs after losing 6 in a row?
Decimals write new book, “I give up…2nd highest points and I can’t even make the playoffs, is life worth living?”.
Needmore Action celebrates playoff birth by giving kids early Xmas break. Principal to blame?
CCD gives team last two weeks off to prepare for playoffs, Good decision?
Runners party like rockstars after tying for last place…B. Jones get contract extension.
Crotch Lake wins and wants to put Love, Fire, More Action and Moorehead in his pants…Will this be the team to beat (off) during the playoffs?
Savannah Whites “We tried everthing this year”…Except for winning!
Macon Love getting’ ready for Bacon Love…Is Kevin Bacon’s endorsement for the Love a curse or just the sizzle that they need to win it again?
Earth, Wind and Fire use the Earth’s rotational pull to propel them into the playoffs…How long til the axis shift?
Well as I am sure all of you know Saber didn’t have enough skill to make the playoffs along with TP and Kav and B. Jones (well this was expected). So here is what these fine young chaps will be doing next Sunday morning!
B. Jones-Getting up at 3:30 am…Running while carrying his bike on his back up to the Canadian border and back.
Kav getting up at 3:30 am to change his son’s diaper and realize that there is poop all over everything…He realizes that he should have never gotten the baby bjorn thong diapers…It just doesn’t have the same effect for toddlers.
Saber will get up at 3:30 am driver over to Swanny’s house use the key that Swanny promised him if he got Swanny in our league to open the front door, sneak in his bed and cuddle with Swanny and his wife. Saber gets really lonely during playoff times.
TP will take a cab home at 3:30 am and proceed to have a one way conversation about the trials and tribulations of Fantasty Football with a Pakistani cab driver. Then invite him up for some early morning cinnamon rolls.
Congrats to those who made the playoffs...And Congrats to those who got Lucky!
Cheers
#3 Co-Commish
Saber and Bombers fall out of playoff and realize war is not the answer, neither is winning. Is this a bad philosphy?
Moorehead gets plenty of head…Is he too relaxed heading into the playoffs after losing 6 in a row?
Decimals write new book, “I give up…2nd highest points and I can’t even make the playoffs, is life worth living?”.
Needmore Action celebrates playoff birth by giving kids early Xmas break. Principal to blame?
CCD gives team last two weeks off to prepare for playoffs, Good decision?
Runners party like rockstars after tying for last place…B. Jones get contract extension.
Crotch Lake wins and wants to put Love, Fire, More Action and Moorehead in his pants…Will this be the team to beat (off) during the playoffs?
Savannah Whites “We tried everthing this year”…Except for winning!
Macon Love getting’ ready for Bacon Love…Is Kevin Bacon’s endorsement for the Love a curse or just the sizzle that they need to win it again?
Earth, Wind and Fire use the Earth’s rotational pull to propel them into the playoffs…How long til the axis shift?
Well as I am sure all of you know Saber didn’t have enough skill to make the playoffs along with TP and Kav and B. Jones (well this was expected). So here is what these fine young chaps will be doing next Sunday morning!
B. Jones-Getting up at 3:30 am…Running while carrying his bike on his back up to the Canadian border and back.
Kav getting up at 3:30 am to change his son’s diaper and realize that there is poop all over everything…He realizes that he should have never gotten the baby bjorn thong diapers…It just doesn’t have the same effect for toddlers.
Saber will get up at 3:30 am driver over to Swanny’s house use the key that Swanny promised him if he got Swanny in our league to open the front door, sneak in his bed and cuddle with Swanny and his wife. Saber gets really lonely during playoff times.
TP will take a cab home at 3:30 am and proceed to have a one way conversation about the trials and tribulations of Fantasty Football with a Pakistani cab driver. Then invite him up for some early morning cinnamon rolls.
Congrats to those who made the playoffs...And Congrats to those who got Lucky!
Cheers
#3 Co-Commish
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Bring on the Playoffs, Yo!
After 13 weeks, here are the final Regular Season results:
Alba Division
Big B gets a bye
Willey vs. Fryxell
Biel Division
CCD gets a bye
J Boogie vs. Swanny
Regular Season Winnings
$345 – Big B
$200 – CCD
$100 – J Boogie
Weekly High Scores ($10 per week)
1 – Kav
2 – Swanny
3 – B Jones
4 – Swanny & B Jones ($5 each)
5 – Fryxell
6 – CCD
7 – J Boogie
8 – Fryxell
9 – B Jones
10 – B
11 – B
12 – TP
13 – TP
Alba Division
Big B gets a bye
Willey vs. Fryxell
Biel Division
CCD gets a bye
J Boogie vs. Swanny
Regular Season Winnings
$345 – Big B
$200 – CCD
$100 – J Boogie
Weekly High Scores ($10 per week)
1 – Kav
2 – Swanny
3 – B Jones
4 – Swanny & B Jones ($5 each)
5 – Fryxell
6 – CCD
7 – J Boogie
8 – Fryxell
9 – B Jones
10 – B
11 – B
12 – TP
13 – TP
Thursday, December 3, 2009
DO NOT PICK UP ANY PLAYERS BEFORE NOON ON THURSDAY!!!!
Dear Swanny,
For the sixth time, here are the rules regarding pick-ups:
"As a reminder, if you want to pick-up a player, here's what you need to do: Send an e-mail to theodore.pawlicki@gmail.com. Include your bid amount and who you'll be dropping. Each pick-up needs to be submitted via a separate e-mail. In the event that two people bid the same amount, the owner who submitted his e-mail first will get the player. Submit your pick-up by midnight on Wednesday. Thursday before noon, TP will send out a note informing the league of who got who. From Thursday afternoon to Sunday at noon, pick-ups can be made directly on the website (first come, first served)."
You picked up Jason Avant at 9:54 this morning. That is illegal. You will be fined.
Also, TP can you please send the Thursday e-mails out before noon? Saber tried picking up Fred Jackson at 12:14 pm. Saber should know better (i.e., he should know to wait for an e-mail), but it's going to be harder to assign him with a fine. The Commissioner's office is looking into the matter right now, and we'll let the League know when a final decision has been made.
For the sixth time, here are the rules regarding pick-ups:
"As a reminder, if you want to pick-up a player, here's what you need to do: Send an e-mail to theodore.pawlicki@gmail.com. Include your bid amount and who you'll be dropping. Each pick-up needs to be submitted via a separate e-mail. In the event that two people bid the same amount, the owner who submitted his e-mail first will get the player. Submit your pick-up by midnight on Wednesday. Thursday before noon, TP will send out a note informing the league of who got who. From Thursday afternoon to Sunday at noon, pick-ups can be made directly on the website (first come, first served)."
You picked up Jason Avant at 9:54 this morning. That is illegal. You will be fined.
Also, TP can you please send the Thursday e-mails out before noon? Saber tried picking up Fred Jackson at 12:14 pm. Saber should know better (i.e., he should know to wait for an e-mail), but it's going to be harder to assign him with a fine. The Commissioner's office is looking into the matter right now, and we'll let the League know when a final decision has been made.
Week 13 Pick-Ups
Earth Wind & Fire made the following transactions:
- Added Fred Jackson and dropped Reggie Bush
- Added Jason Avant and dropped Jason Snelling
- Added Kenny Britt and dropped Neil Rackers
- Added Fred Jackson and dropped Reggie Bush
- Added Jason Avant and dropped Jason Snelling
- Added Kenny Britt and dropped Neil Rackers
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Week 12 Recap
Once again, thank you all for joining the conference call this morning. Rather than write a newsletter this week, I decided to simply post a transcript of today’s call. Enjoy!
* * * * *
Boogie: “Thanks to everyone for calling in so early this morning. Before I recap Week 12, I thought it’d be nice if everyone on the call could introduce themselves and let us know where you’re calling-in from. I’ll begin. This is Co-Commissioner Boogie, and I’m calling in from a dog park. I’m currently standing around waiting for my girlfriend’s dog to drop a deuce. As soon as he does, I’ll be ready to pick it up and say something ridiculous like, ‘Good boy – I’m so proud of you!’ Who’s next?”
TP: “This is co-commissioner Pawlicki. I’m calling in from a top secret studio where I’m working on the videos from Weeks 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, and 11.”
Kav: “This is Coach Kav. I must have dialed the wrong number. I meant to hit the speed dial button for 1-900-BIG-B00BS.”
Saber: “This is Saber. I’m calling in from my girlfriend’s dog house.”
Fryx: “Fryxell here. I’m sitting on my toilet. Hearing Boogie talk about his girlfriend’s dog dropping a deuce got me in the mood.”
Willey: -whispering- “Hey guys, it’s Willey. I’m supposed to be reading today’s school announcements over the intercom, but instead I’m hiding under my desk.”
Swanny: “This is Swanny. I’m reading through the contract my wife just handed me. Apparently she’s refusing to sleep with me until I shave my playoff ‘stache. Oh well, I guess a one week stretch won’t kill me.”
CCD: “CCD here. I’m working on my resume. It should be ready to send to Jack Swarbrick this afternoon.”
B Jones: -breathing heavily- “This is Brennan. I’m on a short pre-work bike ride. I just passed the Paul Bunyan statue on the outskirts of Bemidji.”
B: “This is Big B. I’m sitting naked at my dining room table, eating a bowl of ‘y charms’.”
Fryx: “What are ‘y charms’?”
B: “You know, the cereal with the frosted oats and colored marshmallows and the leprechaun on the box.”
Fryx: “You mean ‘Lucky Charms?’”
B: “I don’t know what ‘Luck’ is, so I just call them ‘y charms’.”
Boogie: “OK, I think I should probably cut in here. Now it’s time for the Week 12 recap. TP, Willey, Fryxell, Kav, and Big B all had impressive victories. Macon won for the 8th consecutive week and secured the regular season championship. In a losing effort, CCD secured 2nd place in the regular season. Swanny put up the third highest point total, but because he was playing TP, he lost by 41 points and dropped his fifth consecutive game!
In the Biel division, it looks like CCD, Swanny, and Boogie are going to make the playoffs. Although if Swanny or Boogie looses while putting up a small point total – and Kav or B Jones win and put up a big number – it’s possible that Kav and/or Brennan could leapfrog their way into the playoffs.
In the Alba division, things are still extremely tight. Willey and Fryx are both 5 – 7, but Willey has 12 more points so he’s currently in a position to edge Fryx out of the playoffs. If Willey and Fryx both win, though, and Saber looses – then Saber would likely be the odd man out. If Willey and Fryx both lose and TP wins, however, then TP will likely leapfrog into the playoffs. All of the different scenarios are making my head hurt.
For as long as I’ve been involved with Fantasy Football, there has never been a season where every single team still has a chance at making the playoffs in the final week. What we’re experiencing right now is UNPRECEDENTED, gentlemen. Let’s all try to enjoy it.
May the best teams win."
* * * * *
Boogie: “Thanks to everyone for calling in so early this morning. Before I recap Week 12, I thought it’d be nice if everyone on the call could introduce themselves and let us know where you’re calling-in from. I’ll begin. This is Co-Commissioner Boogie, and I’m calling in from a dog park. I’m currently standing around waiting for my girlfriend’s dog to drop a deuce. As soon as he does, I’ll be ready to pick it up and say something ridiculous like, ‘Good boy – I’m so proud of you!’ Who’s next?”
TP: “This is co-commissioner Pawlicki. I’m calling in from a top secret studio where I’m working on the videos from Weeks 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, and 11.”
Kav: “This is Coach Kav. I must have dialed the wrong number. I meant to hit the speed dial button for 1-900-BIG-B00BS.”
Saber: “This is Saber. I’m calling in from my girlfriend’s dog house.”
Fryx: “Fryxell here. I’m sitting on my toilet. Hearing Boogie talk about his girlfriend’s dog dropping a deuce got me in the mood.”
Willey: -whispering- “Hey guys, it’s Willey. I’m supposed to be reading today’s school announcements over the intercom, but instead I’m hiding under my desk.”
Swanny: “This is Swanny. I’m reading through the contract my wife just handed me. Apparently she’s refusing to sleep with me until I shave my playoff ‘stache. Oh well, I guess a one week stretch won’t kill me.”
CCD: “CCD here. I’m working on my resume. It should be ready to send to Jack Swarbrick this afternoon.”
B Jones: -breathing heavily- “This is Brennan. I’m on a short pre-work bike ride. I just passed the Paul Bunyan statue on the outskirts of Bemidji.”
B: “This is Big B. I’m sitting naked at my dining room table, eating a bowl of ‘y charms’.”
Fryx: “What are ‘y charms’?”
B: “You know, the cereal with the frosted oats and colored marshmallows and the leprechaun on the box.”
Fryx: “You mean ‘Lucky Charms?’”
B: “I don’t know what ‘Luck’ is, so I just call them ‘y charms’.”
Boogie: “OK, I think I should probably cut in here. Now it’s time for the Week 12 recap. TP, Willey, Fryxell, Kav, and Big B all had impressive victories. Macon won for the 8th consecutive week and secured the regular season championship. In a losing effort, CCD secured 2nd place in the regular season. Swanny put up the third highest point total, but because he was playing TP, he lost by 41 points and dropped his fifth consecutive game!
In the Biel division, it looks like CCD, Swanny, and Boogie are going to make the playoffs. Although if Swanny or Boogie looses while putting up a small point total – and Kav or B Jones win and put up a big number – it’s possible that Kav and/or Brennan could leapfrog their way into the playoffs.
In the Alba division, things are still extremely tight. Willey and Fryx are both 5 – 7, but Willey has 12 more points so he’s currently in a position to edge Fryx out of the playoffs. If Willey and Fryx both win, though, and Saber looses – then Saber would likely be the odd man out. If Willey and Fryx both lose and TP wins, however, then TP will likely leapfrog into the playoffs. All of the different scenarios are making my head hurt.
For as long as I’ve been involved with Fantasy Football, there has never been a season where every single team still has a chance at making the playoffs in the final week. What we’re experiencing right now is UNPRECEDENTED, gentlemen. Let’s all try to enjoy it.
May the best teams win."
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